We are Having a Baby | Week 20

A surreal announcement to type.

We just made it to the halfway point and sometimes it still needs to hit me that it is actually happening. The first trimester was rough. I was exhausted and my already sensitive sense of smell was assaulted by odors daily, which triggered my gag reflex, which made me really good at not throwing up at inopportune moments.

Now, I am so thankful to be past the “everything smells like death” phase and the “everyone is irritating phase”

Currently, I feel like I am in a creative wave phase. I just want to make things, any thing. Additionally I feel like I have gotten to know my body even more. I can feel my joints and ligaments becoming more flexible. Everything feels more open and in a surrender.

Surrendering to the unknown, surrender to the divine creator, surrender to faith, surrender to trust. Trust in the knowledge of our female bodies. Trust in the nutrition I am nourishing myself and the baby with for optimal symmetrical genetic expression. Trust in intuition and the body’s innate wisdom. It is a profoundly interesting phase to observe and experience simultaneously. There is not much space for the egoic mind to meddle.

Flexibility is a key theme throughout as well. Making sure to stretch daily, as I can feel my body wanting to make new space. Working through stored energetic emotional blockages trapped deep in my muscles. Opening up, going deeper than I have before in to my body physically and emotionally. Realizing we are an attached team, and the mind needs to take the passenger seat.

It is a personal time of paradoxes. Selfish yet simultaneously selfless. Active preparation yet inevitable unknowns. Counting down the weeks yet also enjoying the final days of the “before.” Before. There is an immense heaviness counting down to one of those monumental lifetime events where there is a definitive distinction to the life prior, the death of a previous lifestyle and the beginning of a new. The rebirth of who I will become in a quite literal birthing. New life beginning not just for the baby, but also the parents.

A new role. A new position in the household and society. New responsibilities. New life.